My parents, my sister, my brother in law, my nephew and my niece have gone to Mysore to witness Dasara (1) celebration at the Mysore palace. I declined the offer to join them as I didn't want to take off from work and also I didn't want them to hire a bigger vehicle just to include me. As my dad is a very agile person, he has been traveling as and when he gets a chance to attend some function or the other while my mom is having this knee pain for a few years, hence she generally doesn't prefer to travel. She decided to do this trip probably for the great love she has for her grandchildren, also she feels that the knee treatment that she is taking has shown good improvement. With this development, I'm home alone for last couple of days and perhaps will be for next couple of days.
What I've realized in these two days is that I have been fairly pampered by my parents, especially by my mom. I'll tell you why. First thing I do after getting up is brush my teeth and during that time mom would start making a cup of coffee for me. I'll have my coffee while checking my e-mails and then she serves me delicious breakfast exactly after having my bath. Like-wise, I'll have my lunch, evening snacks and dinner. And she also sees to that my room is clean all the time. I'm sure there are many other things she takes care, which I'm currently ignorant about. Well, I'm missing all these stuff today hence I'm able to point out. Having said the nice part I'll now tell the irritating part, at least that's how I used to feel. During all these interactions of mine with my mom there is a great chance of she bringing up the topic of me getting married. Let me put up a sample conversation of my mom and me, though its a little inaccurate translation (from Kannada) but you'll pretty much get the idea:
Mom: here is your coffee, take.
Me: haan
Mom: So for how long do you want to drink the coffee that I make.
(Since I'd know what she means by that and where it could possibly go, I'd keep my mouth shut and react as if I hadn't even listen to what she said.)
Mom: I've decided to find a girl for you!
Me: What? Well, I mean how can you make an autonomous decision that too which is concerning me?
Mom: Why do you say so? You have reached an age to get married and your dad, who is always on your side, doesn't do anything about it. Now, who else apart from me has to take the initiative?
Me: Aren't you forgetting the most important person here?
Mom: who?
Me: ME?? Is it not about me getting married - should I not have a say about it?
Mom: See its our responsibility to ensure that you get married to a good girl.
Me: Is that not something I want as well? - that is, to get married to a good girl.
Mom: So you have found someone?
Me: NO.
Mom: It's okay, tell, if there is someone you have in your mind tell me, I'm your mother - I'll understand.
Me: As of now, NO, I'll tell you if I find one.
Mom: See I know that you have difficulty even speaking to girls, I don't think you'll be able find one. What makes you think that we wouldn't be able to search for a good girl. See its a long process, if you say YES now may be you'll get married in a year's time. If you don't then you'll unnecessarily be getting old and will eventually not find a right match.
(I'm angry, waiting for her to finish her sentence)
Me: HELLO!!! who told you that I have difficulty in speaking to girls? Have you ever seen me outside home - see this is the exact reason why I don't what you to search a girl for me - you don't even know what I'm like. I have major doubts in you finding a right match for me.
Mom: ohhhh that means you have some one in your mind, come on speak up, tell me who is it. I hope she is a Brahmin girl, if not also tell - all I care is you to be happy and perhaps happily married.
(Now I'm pissed off, just want to shout at her)
Me: Oh God! why don't you leave me alone!!? I'm fed up of having the same conversation over and over again. Why don't you mind your own business for god sake?
(Now she is equally pissed off and shouts back at me)
Mom: you get lost from my sight!!! what kind of son you are, who doesn't listen to parents - I don't know what sin I did in my previous birth to have such a son! I'm glad that your sister didn't trouble us regarding her marriage like you are doing now.
(I get out of her sight just like the way she orders, with great relief)
Anyway, as I told you its little inaccurate, some times it gets more dramatic. And some times I don't even take it seriously at all. You know, on a few occasions I've taken full advantage of being the subject of the discussion and I've tried to take the argument closer to her victory but in the end I'd show great resentment and just disagree, making her all unhappy for yet another futile effort in convincing me to get married - I just love her expression when this happens.
In midst of all these stuff, you may ask me - why wouldn't I get married as suggested by my mom. To be honest I don't know. There are many thoughts in my mind regarding getting married. Some of which I'll mention here, which I guess are primary reasons for the indecision.
Firstly, there aren't any doubts regarding me getting married, like all the experiences that I have had, I believe, being in a marriage is one experience that I wouldn't want to miss and subsequently to it, I even wish to have kids after some years of marriage- in fact I think raising kids is by far the greatest experience of any mans life. You know, I've even written a serious post on parenting (2). But what stops me from taking this plunge is that I see marriage as an irreversible thing not just associated to me but to a lot of people involved. All the decisions that I've taken in my life till now are only to do with me and me alone. I also have this smug attitude of doing things related to me by my effort alone, say like getting a seat in an engineering course by merit or perusing a masters degree by earning a monthly scholarship or starting a business with my hard earned money and now I think in order to get married I've to find a girl all by myself. Though I've been successful in doing most things according to my terms and condition, this finding a girl by myself and asking her to date me is all together a different ball game. Its not like I'll convince a girl to date me by putting some ten rocking pictures of mine in Facebook or raise my hand in a big shot discussion to give a very intellectual argument or climb Mt. Everest or even help a girl to win some prize or some award. It doesn't work that way guys, believe me, I have done it all - except the Mt. Everest thing of course. As per getting a girl, my experienced friends say that it requires a lot of effort on a daily basis, such as to build trust, continuously care about the girl's needs, keeping the girl assured of how awesome you are and even being fine about all the nagging that girls do a lot apparently - see its a tough thing. Coming to the topic, this arranged marriage thing what my mom majorly endorses is definitely not a bad idea considering the fact that I have failed very badly in all my ventures in convincing a girl to date me - see except for the nagging part which has to be taken care, rest everything could be taken care by the awesome family boy image that I have effortlessly built over the years.
While I'm in no mood to write a serious article on marriage, I'm guessing that these fights that I have with my mom will sooner or later end - either by me agreeing to marry a girl of her choice or I might just find a girl who thinks that I'm a superman! :D
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(1) About Dasara : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mysore_Dasara
(2) My post on parenting: http://isiganesh.wordpress.com/2011/03/28/what-matters/
